להורדת המאמר לחץ כאן

My Grandfather – The Rav

A

The depth and character of the relationship between grandfather and grandson are two folded. On the one hand, a grandson has the option to develop a unique and intimate relationship – getting to know his grandfather from a unique angle which others don't have the possibility to experience. But on the other hand, the two generation gap between them inevitability causes that a grandson knows his grandfather at old age, after the peak of his career and rich activities, often when his health declines and his pace slows down. Therefore, in fact, a grandson can not be privileged to know his grandfather in a mode that others can. A grandson can only get to know his grandfather "from behind", as Rabi characterized the relationship between himself and Rabi Meir:  אמר רבי: האי דמחדדנא מחבראי – דחזיתיה לרבי מאיר מאחוריה, ואילו חזיתיה מקמיה – הוה מחדדנא טפי. דכתיב "והיו עיניך ראות את מוריך" (Eruvin 13b).

The above analysis of the dual nature of the relationship between grandfather and grandson is true regarding my relationship with my grandfather – the Rav zt"l. I was born when the Rav was 61 years old, I moved to Israel with my family when I was seven, and started annual summer visits to learn with the Rav when I was fourteen years old. After I graduated from yeshiva high school, I spent one year learning with the Rav in YU, during the academic year 1981-1982. During these five years, 1978-1982, the Rav was in his late seventies while his physical condition was declining. He wasn't at the height of his strength. I wasn't privileged to hear one of his majestic public lectures – tshuva kinus or yahrzeit shiur. Many talmidim of the Rav learned from him much more Torah than I was privileged, and knew him for many more years. But on the other hand, my being his grandson did able me during our years of acquaintanceship to format with him a unique relationship. Paradoxically, the decline in the Rav's health and the slowing down of his pace, made him less intense and less rigorous, more calm and perhaps more accessible. I heard from the Rav many stories about his early years and mentors (Reb Chaim Brisker, his father Reb Moshe, his uncle Reb Menachem Krakovsky and others), which I later learned that my parents have never heard from him. During those years, he was less independent and therefore required more "shimush", a situation which creates a unique angle, which Chazal have described – "גדולה שמושה של תורה יותר מלמודה" (Berachot 7b).

Even though my acquaintance with the Rav was short and I wasn't entitled that he will be my "Rav Muvhak", he actually has made a tremendous impact upon my life, and his image keeps accompanying me till today. Since many others knew the Rav better than me, I will not focus upon the Rav's image as he was, but rather I'll focus upon our relationship, describing the impact he has made upon me.

B

I don't have many clear memories of the Rav from my early childhood years in New York in the late sixties. We lived in Washington Heights, and the Rav lived in Boston, spending every week three days in NY. During his stay he was very busy, and didn't spend much time with us. After the passing away of my grandmother Dr. Tonya Soloveitchik z"l in 1967, the Rav immersed in intensive torah study and teaching and was very active. I remember visits to his small apartment in Morgenstern dormitory (Morg 101), and his weekly visit at our apartment on 11 Ft. George Hill for Wednesday night suppers he used to eat regularly with us. Even though part of the Rav's astonishing ability to excite his audience was due to his ability to share with crowds of thousands of people his private feelings and emotions, he was a very shy person and on personal base seldom expressed emotions. He never kissed us, and would only extend us a shy handshake. We always knew that his heart is full of love for us, and that he was shy expressing it. Contrary to the Rav's habit, my other grandfather, Dr. Yechiel Lichtenstein z"l would express his love through many kisses he would shower upon us. One of my brothers has commented during those years that one handshake of Zaydee (that's the way we referred to the Rav) is equivalent to ten kisses of Saba (that's the way we referred to Dr. Lichtenstein).

This shyness of the Rav in expressing inter personal relations didn't make it easy to keep a close and meaningful contact with him after we moved to Israel in 1971. During the seven years I didn't see him, there wasn't much contact with him. Long distance phone calls were less common those days, and the contact was kept through infrequent letters. From time to time he would send us a present, but it wasn't on a regular basis. He didn't even call or send me a gift for my bar Mitzvah! Even though I had little contact with him during those years I knew that I have a very special grandfather who is a torah giant, and that we are meaningful to him.

C

My meaningful relationship with my Zaydee was established when I spend with him the summer of 1978. I was privileged to participate in his shiurim, learn with him privately at home, accompany him for his daily walks, and sit near him in Shul. I cherished those precious moments, and felt the excitement being so close to my zaydee. I still have my notebook in which I wrote the various Divrei Torah and stories I heard from him. That doesn't mean that I understood all of the Torah I heard from him. That summer the Rav delivered shiurim on the 11^th chapter of Zevahim. Can you imagine what it means for a fourteen year old to participate in those shiurim? The impact they made upon me were not because I fully understood them.  I particularly remember a three hour shiur the Rav delivered on הכשר כלים, referring constantly to the concept טעם כעיקר. It was a wonderful shiur, but I had only one problem which prevented me from understanding the shiur – I never heard of the concept טעם כעיקר!

During the next five years, my understanding of the Rav's shiurim enhanced, but unfortunately his health deteriorated, and together with that the forcefulness of his shiurim. Even though, I kept learning from him eagerly, cherishing every word I heard from him.

D

Even though I learned most of my Torah from my Father Shlit"a, my acquaintanceship with the Rav made a tremendous impact upon me. This impact is less on my knowledge and training and more on my disposition and love to Torah.

At the Brit Mila of the Rav's first born great grandson, Meshulam Twersky, the Rav referred to the Gemara in Kiddushin 30a:

אמר ריב"ל: כל המלמד את בן בנו תורה, מעלה עליו הכתוב כאילו קבלה מהר סיני, שנאמר: והודעתם לבניך ולבני בניך, וסמיך ליה: יום אשר עמדת לפני ה' אלהיך בחורב.

The Rav pointed out that while Rabi Yehoshua ben Levy seems to express this merit of "כאילו קבלה מהר סיני" to one teaching his grandson and apparently not to one teaching his son, the Rambam in Hilchot Talmud Torah states that בנו קודם לבן בנו. The Rav explained that the Gemara and The Rambam are referring to two different concepts. While the Rambam is referring to the obligation to teach the content of the Torah, the Gemara is referring to a different obligation – the transmission of the Mesorah. The Rav explained that beside the Mitzvah of Talmud Torah there is another obligation to make sure that our generation will transfer our heritage to the next generations, from a deep commitment to the continuity of the oral tradition. Regarding these two obligations, there is a different role to father and grandfather. While the father has the primary role teaching his son Torah, the grandfather has the primary role transmitting the Mesorah since he is closer to the revelation in Sinai, and his teaching his grandson transmits the oral tradition two generations forward. I will add that this analysis reflects the different nature of the relationships of parents and grandparents to their descendants. Since grandparents are not in charge on the actual raising of the child, they format a different relationship than parents.

The Rav has emphasized many times that Rebbi – Talmid relationship is two folded. It combines an intellectual encounter together with an emotional, experiential and existential relationship. I suggest, combining together these two statements of the Rav, that the father's obligation to teach his son Torah is rooted more in the intellectual sphere while the grandfather is more qualified to attach his grandson emotionally to Torah.

The above analysis describes my debt towards my two great teachers – my father and my zaydee. While most of my training and my knowledge was acquired from my father shlita, my Zaydee the Rav has granted me my passion to Torah and a commitment sense of joining a chain of Ba'alei Mesorah. Since I was a young boy, my father put major efforts teaching me Torah. As children relate to learning, I had my difficulties enjoying the learning. The turning point in my attitude towards learning was the summer of 1978, meeting my Zaydee. The blessing of the Gemara to the grandfather "כאילו קבלה מהר סינ" is true regarding the grandson as well. My being at my Zaydee's foot steps was like being near Mt. Sinai. That summer opened my heart and soul and enabled me to dive into the world of Talmud Torah.

E

When I first met the Rav, I was so overwhelmed by his wisdom, and therefore I thought that it must be that everything he states is true. I tended to agree with all his views and ideas. When I matured and developed my own world view, I started to design my own independent views. As of today, I have different views than the Rav regarding fundamental issues.

Many people mistakenly think that a true talmid has to accept the views of his master. I think that the contrary is true. The Historian Jacob Katz, was asked when he turned ninety, did he study anything from the works of Karl Marx. He responded –
"Of course; all historians have learned from Marx besides the Marxists, since they are Hassidim". Katz has defined here a deep truth. A true talmid learns from his master how to think and not what to think. A true talmid doesn't duplicate his master while a hassid imitates his master but doesn't learn from him.

When I first met the Rav I was a hassid of his. When I matured and started thinking independently, I developed into a talmid, and then and only then I began truly to learn from the Rav. I sense today that I have a deeper understanding of the Rav. I'm inspired by him daily, even when I conclude and act differently than he would have. I dialogue with him constantly, and I'm sure that he would have been proud of my independence. It was a great privilege to know him, and I'm committed to continue his Legacy, as understood by me, his loving grandson and talmid.